Mismatched Oxen

“When two people are unequally yoked—particularly in marriage—their uneven partnership can bring complications and conflicts.”

In Jesus’ day, it was a common practice to link two oxen to each other with a wooden bar called a yoke. The yoke allowed the two oxen to pull the plow and effectively till soil. It would be ineffective to mismatch the oxen, with one stronger and the other weaker, or one taller and the other shorter. Similarly, when two people are unequally yoked— particularly in marriage—their uneven partnership can bring complications and conflicts. That’s why the Apostle Paul’s counsel in 1 Corinthians 7 on marriage, divorce, and separation is so critical for our world today.

Ultimately, when two people share the same purpose to glorify Christ in their marriage, their work will be light even though there may be toil. However, Paul did not mean that if you’re married to an unbelieving spouse, there’s no hope. He says, “If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her” (1 Cor. 7:12). There was a mentality among the Corinthians that whatever was unclean would defile you. You needed to separate yourself from it. They thought their marriage to an unbeliever would defile them, so they should divorce.

Paul says, in fact, the opposite is true. Verse 14 says, “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.” To be sanctified means to be set apart unto God. I call this the splash effect. I remember going to the pool with my son when he was young. He liked to run and jump high in the air, pulling his legs up to “cannonball” into the pool. Why? Because he created a huge splash, soaking everyone nearby.

In the spiritual realm, we all have a splash effect. Your spiritual life splashes onto your marriage and your community, your spouse, children, and relatives. That splash can be good or bad. Rather than leave, you are to stay with them, work it out, and cultivate your marriage. God will use you to sanctify your spouse. If you are equally yoked, praise God and continue to cultivate a Christ-filled, loving marriage. If your spouse is unsaved, ask God to use your life to bless your spouse and lead him or her to Jesus. No matter your situation, contemplate how you can live out the gospel in your marriage today.